


end of eras

by formeldehyde



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Divorce, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Self-Harm, Tyler-centric, end of blurryface era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 14:31:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11419971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/formeldehyde/pseuds/formeldehyde
Summary: and what now? is he gone?





	1. hold tight

black tar has been dripping around tyler's neck for nearly two years. absorbing into his flesh-ripping the ability for his fingers to still, inhibiting the functioning of brain of impulse to fear. this pain, this smoke-choked oxygen deprivation. the shows, the shows where he split open his bleeding black heart for thousands to see. to sing the words plagued with the illness of brain rotting infecting poetry patterns. with his lyrics, tales of static face turning his brain into melting tissue and shadows.   
years now of him, the heavy shadow that clung heavily onto his spine. of a broken reflection of tyler, living cohesively within tyler's heart and in his peripheral vision. his voice dripping into tyler's ears at night like frigid winter night winds. but god oh god, the almost painful warmth that bubbled underneath tyler's skin as blurry hands lured tyler onto high buildings and quick highways, it was gorgeously, painfully desirable. deep raspy words whispering of false love from his wife, of abandonment by fans, hatred by josh, of empty sky and purpose found not even in creation.   
he would leave the house in the middle of the night, watching headlights buzzing by with people heads clear of the black slick. huddled on roadsides, hoodie covering his face from columbus teens. his love for his fans had boundaries - he would die for each of them, but the hope and thankfulness that poured from their eyes in tears overwhelmed tyler. their dark circles under bright eyes were what tyler thought about all day, they were the beginning of grayscale. so, as he walked city streets with jenna sound asleep or up and worrying, he stayed low. phone turned off and street lamps passing with whispers from the alleyways.   
the warm burning in his stomach, gore and red bloodied vision, is like a drug. it's familiar, he is dependent on the very thing that's ripping him apart. this addiction is beyond even his own comprehension; why he lusts for days trapped in his own head and in conversations that could be claimed one sided.   
blurry to tyler is a man, that forces tyler to indulge the unhealthiest lusts, insecurities, and fears. but as all bad habits, he is comforting. falling into old behaviors allows tyler to melt back into columbus streets and blurry's arms. like the first relapse, the chemicals swimming through his system as the tar comes contact with his skin cause shaking tear jerking pleasure. terrifying familiarity warms tyler's skin and he knows for sure that blurryface won't leave until tyler's in the ground.


	2. let go

and what's it like then? when the concert cycle is over, the new scripture building up into a new era. the time of showing the melting face to the world is behind him, and the grip on tyler's neck and hands loosened.   
it was terrifying even before blurry let go.  
the ability to move more freely, shocked tyler. electricity flowing through his bones like lightning. not gone, never gone, only lessened as red and black fades to a pale empty blue. an echo of blurry's voice reverberating through empty concert halls and in the hearts of fleshless kids.  
the empty blue causing spasms in panic. fingers shaking as his brown eyes absorbed the petrifying void of hollow sky. his body aching for the fix: for blurry. his own personal heroin, that even he knows is poison and nothing else.   
what do you do now?   
when the void becomes null and blue skies reflect your lovers eyes?   
surely not sink back into insecurities, not paint your skin black with charred wood from bridges burned.  
jenna moved out.   
her leaving flooded power back into the shadow that was blurry in his bones. fears of dying alone, love in purest form taken away because of his own selfishness. his tears were as blue as the ocean that night-he could see jenna in them. she was always the proudest of him for fighting, every night shaking and twitching to stop tears on stage- she was there. smiling and waving and blowing kisses like tyler wasn't losing his mind. love cures no illness, but she made it more bearable.   
he realizes now, her ability to bear his pain did not extend to his desire for pain. circumstance is never to be judged; she never did. but when tyler began seeking out the torture- jenna couldn't save him.   
as tyler walks the house and streets at night covered in grease, blood spilling from slits in his skin and rubber bands returning where he marked his wrists to make sure he'd never put them on again. the cleansing of the man that made tyler fight for himself, left him with nothing else than to fight himself.   
huddled against cold brick, he forces the words good bye out of his lips. maybe if he bid farewell the evil within, it could take his addiction with it, bring back his rose sunshine haired sky eyed love.   
it didn't leave.  
and she didn't come back.


	3. in the ground

tyler demands, if you were to ask, jenna wasn't gone. the ring stayed on his finger until the day he died. it stained his skin past the point of her mailing him diamonds back. past her second husband and first children. it was the most excruciating pain tyler had experienced: and he had wanted it. he brought about his own life long torture by seeking pain back in blurry.   
jenna was the last person he addressed in the note.   
josh was the second to last.   
tyler's reclusiveness after the divorce paved way for josh to become even more distant. josh begged and cried on the phone to tyler, explaining that this wasn't the end and that there was more. that josh loved him. that josh had always loved tyler. but that even then, josh couldn't replace jenna. he couldn't break up with whatever girl had lured him into a relationship. josh's innocence pained tyler. he fell easily, and he fell without thinking. every love was high school sweetheart pink blush to him and he would let anyone fuck him over. tyler wouldn't let himself hurt josh.   
tyler couldn't feel any love anymore. and when josh finally gave up, so did tyler.   
blurry came back-and strong. the asphyxiation from tar choking the hope from his blood. deep voice ripping every declaration of love from anyone in tyler's life. he couldn't believe anything or anyone. conspiracy stitched its way in paranoia. blinds closed and locks triple checked, tour dates canceled and meetings postponed.  
the tweets and messages flooded into tyler's life as soon as the news went public. the fans knew him, just not all of him. they knew the satire, the love, brief glimpses of pain. some saw the pain for what it was, for the senior year suicide note, and some suspected that this couldn't end well, that this tragedy didn't end with a ruined marriage. it ended with blurryface. it ended with tyler dead.


End file.
